The Christmas season has gathered legends that have a life of their own. St. Nicholas, a real historic figure, has become Santa Claus, who visits a billion homes in a single night from a flying sleigh and now resides permanently at his North Pole toy factory with elves and anthropomorphic talking reindeer, one of whom sports a high candlepower light-emitting nose. In 2015, those mythological creatures became the center of national Washington DC controversy.
It seems that the President had a very clear picture in his mind of the Christmas spectacle that should be displayed for America on the White House lawn.
Never mind. The House aides that make and do (usually for First Ladies) were set to the hurried task of re-creating the North Pole, Mr. and Mrs. Claus, Elves, their Toy workbenches, and Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, etc. But no actual reindeer could be found, capable of being dressed in the sleepwear the President’s vision specified.
Yes, I said sleepwear.
So a substitute for actual reindeer was sought. Ponies wouldn’t do, nor goats, Great Danes nor any hoofed animals until they came to the Llamas. There was a Llama ranch in Maryland, close by, and the ranch had eight yearling llamas that, despite not having antlers, were close enough to the look, especially dressed up, that they could substitute, on loan, for magical reindeer.
And everything went fine until the marching band began to play. No one knows exactly why, but the llamas went crazy in reaction to the noise. Attached by leather harnesses to the sleigh, they tried to sprint at top speed in all different directions at the same time. In the process they trampled some visitors and had to be sedated before causing further injury. Several of the hapless young llamas didn’t survive.
So for the coming 2016 Presidential election year, believe it or not, we will now have a Congressional Committee formulated to investigate the drama of the trauma of Obama’s llamas, away from their mamas, and dressed in pajamas.